In a rare and unprecedented move, Donald Trump (aka, President Trump), Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and Jared Kushner made a donation Wednesday to the DC Food Bank.
The items consisted of a bag of Goya dried Black beans, a jar of adobo paste, which the President joking referred to as “Adobe”, a can of white beans, a can of coconut milk and a package of chocolate wafers.
Steven Miller, architect of Trumps immigration plans suggested sending one bean to each family after soaking them in cyanide. That way they could “feed” 500 not 5. Jared countered saying he’s counted them and it’s actually 612 family’s they could feed! In a rare move breaking from Miller’s oft followed recommendations and the think tank that is Jared, Trump decided to send the entire package to a lucky needy family. ¡Que Largesse!
In return for Goya’s gift of these fine foods, Trump has arranged a $5 million PPP check to be sent directly to Goya CEO Robert Unanue, where, as Trump said “He can use these funds however he sees fit, and if he’s listening he’d make a large donation to Trump 2020.”
Five DC family’s are now going to bed with full bellies and the comforting glow of their newfound love of Donald Trump.